


Prick of the Thorn

by TimeLadyoftheSith



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Alien Illness, Anyone seen a Bad Wolf around?, F/M, Fever Induced Dreaming, Irritable TARDIS, Memories of Domestic Abuse, Near Death Experience, Sickness, Telepathy, totally not canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-08 16:38:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10391181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimeLadyoftheSith/pseuds/TimeLadyoftheSith
Summary: Rose becomes ill with a dangerous infection. It isn't one that should have been able to pass to humans. So why did it? Can the Doctor alter the antidote to be compatible with her biology, or will he have to seek help from the one he locked so deep in both their memories?(Written for TenRoseForeverandEver)(Updated the rating due to the whole Jimmy deal: now rated T for teen)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TenRoseForeverandever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenRoseForeverandever/gifts).



> I used to dream about the heroes of stories  
> As life became an endless night  
> When hope was gone, you resurrected my spirit  
> Brought me from Darkness into Light  
> I can sense a storm is coming  
> Anchoring you to me  
> -Skin and Bones by Beth Crowley.

Rose wasn't sure exactly which discomfort it was they woke her up, the sweat soaking her skin, the chills racking her frame, or the pounding headache that pulsed behind her eyes.

She hauled herself into a sitting position and reached into the top drawer of her nightstand. She could have sworn she had some paracetamol in there. Her fingers clutched the bottle, and she winced as her right, middle finger throbbed. With a hiss, she nearly dropped the bottle into her lap. She gingerly shook the bottle, dismayed to find it empty.

"Lights please." Rose's throat was raw, and her voice rasped out like she hadn't spoken in months.

The TARDIS, wonderful girl that she was, flickered the lights on enough so that it didn't aggravate her headache. With a small tinkling sound, like a wind chime in the breeze, a glass of water appeared on the table. Rose grabbed the glass with her left hand and took a sip. The cool water felt like a glacier defrosting in her throat. It caused her parched lips to sting, and she felt her chest tighten. She set the glass down, and squinted at her throbbing finger.

The entire tip was an angry red, and the nail bed was turning a garish purple with a tinge of green. Somehow, it was infected, but she couldn't remember how or why. She had dealt with an infected finger before, when Shareen had dabbled in learning acrylic nails, and Rose knew exactly what to do.

Heaving herself shakily from the bed, she slowly made her way into the cool hallways, her whole body shivering now. She should have grabbed her house robe. The TARDIS, bless her a million times over, dimmed the overhead lights, leaving the floor lights bright enough to illuminate her way. Rose dizzily made her way to the infirmary. Each step thudded in her head like a freight train.

The headache sent silver stars to cloud her vision, but Rose was certain this was the infirmary door before her. Yes, it was. The various medical equipment scattered the room confirmed that. "Needles and antiseptic creams please." Rose croaked to the ship. The lights above the cabinets flickered out, except for two. Rose stumbled to the cabinets, and with her left hand, gingerly pried open the door on the left. A small tub of blue balm sat center on the shelf. She pulled it out and set it on the counter. In the second cabinet, she found a case of small needles, almost pediatric sized.

Gritting her teeth, Rose popped the cap off of the needle and pierced the throbbing skin. The infection gushed out, thick and a strange purplish green, and it burned down her feverish skin. With a strangled sob, Rose quickly turned on a nearby sink and flushed her finger clean.

Shivers and sweat still rolling across her body, Rose opened the blue balm and rubbed it across her wounded finger. The pain dwindled down to a faint tapping ache, but was much more manageable. All she wanted to do now was pour herself some tea for her throat and take some fever medicine. She bumped into the infirmary doorframe on her way out and stumbled her way to the galley. She knew the Doctor kept paracetamol next to the sink, so she could kills two birds with one stone.

The walk to the galley felt longer than usual, and Rose wasn't sure if that was the fever or the quaking of her muscles. The longer she moved, the more drained she felt, like her energy was seeping out of her bare feet onto the icy metal hall beneath her feet. She paused by a door, resting her left hand on the knob to steady herself, and contemplated calling out for the Doctor.

She normally would, but she was cross with him. That much she knew, although she couldn't remember why. She just had a vague recollection of herself shouting at him across the console and then storming to her room. She could focus properly once her fever was down. She swallowed hard, her hand twisting the knob a bit as she pushed herself forward, and continued her trek to the galley. She slightly registered it opening just a smidge, but shrugged it painfully off.

The door to the galley was ajar already, and a steaming kettle sat primly on the stove. The Doctor's favorite mug was missing from it's hook on the wall. Rose sighed softly, and it sent her into a coughing fit. She felt phlegm rise in her throat, and she stumbled to the sink to spit it out. It was the same purplish green as the infection in her finger. It struck her as odd, but didn't really seem a cause for concern. She had probably caught some alien form of strep throat. She'd ask the Doctor for some antibiotics when she felt more level headed.

With shaky hands, Rose located a jar of peppermint tea and a bottle of Artilian honey. The Doctor had put it in her tea a few months ago, when she'd had a bout of allergies from some pollen on, was it Zortrax? It may have been, she couldn't quite remember.

She flipped the lid off the bottle of tablets, located next to the sink, and popped two onto her tongue. Then she sluggishly filled her mug with tap water and swallowed a mouthful to wash down the pills. Rose turned to the stove. What was she doing again? Tea, right, she needed to pour water from the kettle into her mug. Rose fumbled the jar of bags open, switched one of the minty things to her mug, then poured the water in. While it was steeping, the aroma winding it's way up her nostrils, she procured a small spoon from a drawer and stirred in the honey. She left the bag discarded on the counter, unwilling to waste energy walking to the trash bin across the small room.

Rose lifted the mug to her lips, and the fire in her throat ebbed a bit at the heavenly liquid that flowed to her belly. The flaming iceberg, that sat so heavily in her stomach, shrunk just a tad. Feeling just a bit less like microwaved death, Rose began her labored journey back to her room. Was the floor supposed to jerk and rock under her feet that way? No, the engine was humming its normal parked tune. How odd. Now it was swirling up and up, lurching at her like a rushing wave. Damn it to hell, she spilled her tea.

~~~~~~~

Bloody women! That's all the Doctor could think as he slammed his bedroom door behind him. The disgruntled murmur of the TARDIS in his brain made him snort. "Oh sure! Take her side."

He ripped off his tie, chucking it across the room at the laundry chute in the wall. Hopefully the TARDIS could get the wine stain out of it. His shirt, on the other hand had been spared much of the splatter by his coat and jacket. He shed those too, missing the chute by a good bit, and he grumbled to himself as he picked them up and shoved them into the silver tunnel.

"I don't know why she got so cross with me." The Doctor grumbled as he fumbled in his dresser drawers for his lounge pants and a comfortable top. "She was already dancing with Lord Billikmarn. So what if I gave the princess a spin around the floor?" He switched his sonic to the pocket of the stretchy cotton pants as he changed.

The TARDIS echoed Rose's words from the console room into his head with a groan of admonishment. "I am NOT blind." He huffed. "My visions is beyond perfect, as you are very well aware little madam!" He shook his finger at the ceiling. "Why do you always take her side?"

The TARDIS trickled golden dust into the lights of the room. "Oh no you don't!" He felt very much like a man arguing with an irritable wife. This made two women to give him that feeling tonight. "Don't pull that 'sharing your heart with her' nonsense on me now." The Doctor pulled his shirt on and glowered at the ceiling. "That was eleven months ago! You were taking her side long before that!"

All the lights in his room flared as bright as could be, then flicked immediately into darkness. The quick change made even his superior vision become disoriented for a moment. "Oh, bite me." He growled and pulled his sonic out, so he could light his way to the door. He stepped out into the hallway and straight into the pool, which had, up until that moment, been located on the opposite side of the ship near the Star Room. "Not funny!" The Doctor hissed as he pulled himself out and procured a fluffy pink towel from a nearby chair.

Grumbling about being outnumbered, he grabbed the door handle that should have let him out right across from the Star Room. However, it opened to a storage closet holding a dalek eyestalk and smelly sneakers. Rolling his eyes, he shut the door. "Okay! I'll talk to her when she wakes up." The Doctor toweled off his hair as he gazed up at the ceiling again. "If I go in there now, she's liable to stab me with those heels she was wearing tonight." That image in the Doctor's head was unbidden but not unwelcome. Rose Tyler in strappy black heels and a tight black dress.... and it was time to get his thoughts back under control. "Is that acceptable?" He questioned his ship.

The lights flashed again, and this time, when the Doctor opened the door, it led out into the console room. Bloody hell, all he wanted was a cup of tea before he went to bed for the first time in three weeks. Swearing in Gallifreyan, he trudged his way down the corridors to the galley. He filled the kettle, sonicked it so he wouldn't have to wait for it to boil, and poured himself a nice chamomile. Then, mug in hand, he left the kettle on the stove, and trekked his way back to his room. He paused, just briefly, as he saw Rose's door crack open, but not wanting to fight anymore, he hurried to his room and shut himself in.

The Doctor settled against his pillows, pulling the seventh Harry Potter book into his lap, and flipped it open to where he had left off yesterday. He always read ahead, even though he swore to Rose he didn't. He just wanted to make sure he put the right emotions into the words when it was his night to read aloud. She didn't even know he had this book tucked away here in his room. In fact, she'd probably force him to eat pears if she knew. He read four chapters, and then settled back against his pillows to sleep.

Three hours, twenty two minutes, and forty-eight seconds had passed. Why was the bloody heat on? Normally the TARDIS kept it at a chilly fifteen degrees centigrade during Rose's sleep cycle. His companion liked it cold when she slept, so she had an excuse to bundle herself under a mountain of downy blankets. It wasn't really uncomfortable for him, but the change in the temperature is definitely what woke him up. He sat up, and reached for his sonic on the side table. It normally sat right next to a glass of water. The water was gone. "Well that's weird." He mumbled. "What's going on girl?" He murmured, as he slid out of bed.

The TARDIS didn't reply. She seemed preoccupied with something else. Yellow light caught the Doctor's eye. Why was his door open? He had definitely closed it. This was very strange indeed. Sonic in hand, he stepped into the empty hall. Just barely noticeable, the scent Rose's shampoo came from the direction of the infirmary and wafted in the direction of the galley. The scent was very faded, perhaps a few hours old, and ,just barely detectable, was a cloying tinge of infection.

The Doctor stood torn between heading to the galley and leaving his irritable companion be. If she needed him, she would have called out to him. She was an independent woman and knew where the medicines and such were kept. He turned back to his door, and it slammed shut in his face. He heard the lock slide home. "What did I do now?" He groaned into the air. The lights overhead dimmed, and the ones near the floor began running along the corridor in the direction of the galley. The TARDIS hummed, a feeling of urgency pushing against his mind.

The Doctor sprinted down the hall, the galley door wide open before him, and he skidded to a stop. Rose lay on the floor, her hair soaked with sweat, and her favorite mug shattered in a puddle of tea by her left hand. Her right hand lay limp on her stomach, swollen and purplish green, with the same colored infection slowly seeping from her middle finger. Her face was deathly pale, save for the feverish pink on her cheeks and lips. She hacked a cough, and a glob of purplish phlegm spattered onto the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listen closely and hear sweet strains of music  
> I'm captured in a reverie  
> Through all the years you've been my quiet salvation  
> Reflecting who I want to be  
> -Skin and Bones by Beth Crowley

"Rose!" The Doctor knew shouting was pointless, but it helped release the panic that was erupting from the bottom of his stomach. "Rose! Wake up!" He crouched next to her, not even wincing as a shard of the mug dug into his knee. "Rose! Answer me!" He felt the heat rolling off her skin before his fingers touched her flesh. The smell of infection was overwhelming, and he had to let his respiratory bypass system kick in so he wouldn't be sick himself. Some portion of his brain was rolling through possible culprits of the infection, but the one that kept ringing forward could not be possible. It just wasn't possible. So he shoved those thoughts aside as his hands were working to check her pulse and her breathing. Her pulse was strong, but way too accelerated. Her immune system was overloading her entire body.

The Doctor scooped her into his arms and raced into the hallway. A door flew open, four feet away, exposing the interior of the infirmary. The Doctor gently lay his ailing companion on a gurney. He blindly fumbled through the cabinets, finding an IV needle and a bag of saline. He swabbed the junction of her left elbow clean, and quickly began the saline drip. "Ice packs!" He shouted at his ship, as he began ripping open cold storage units where he kept some antibiotics and piles of AB negative blood for Rose, just in case. A door banged open far to his left, and the Doctor plunged his arms into its icy depths. His fingers closed victoriously around massive ice packs. He piled them around her extremities, desperate to bring her fever down.

Rose broken into another coughing fit, and that sickly purple gunk sputtered out onto the front of her shirt. Her body was fighting hard, he could tell, but it wouldn't be enough. He grabbed a slide from the nearby bioanalyzer and scooped the offensive blob from her shirt. His normally steady hands were now shaking, and he almost dropped the slide before he shoved it in to be analyzed. Pausing the saline drip, the Doctor quickly drew two vials of blood, and slipped them into a second scanner.

It only took thirty-seven and a half seconds for each screen to blip their results at him, but it felt like thirty-seven years. Both screens told him the same thing. Yet, it couldn't be possible. He reset the examination systems again, running another thirty-seven and a half seconds. Yet, there in the swirling circles of his mother tongue, flashed the results: purpura mortem, the purple death. Almost all of the symptoms matched, except the lungs filling with phlegm. Normally the bacteria took over the extremities, then moved to the kidneys and livers of the natives, effectively sending them into septic shock, and finally death.

"How?!" He screamed at the screen. "We haven't even been to the gardens of Calimistra! That's the only place it can be found!" He slammed both fists down, knocking a tray of equipment to the floor. "That bacteria is not even transmittable to pure humans!"

A loud clatter drew his attention back to his companion. Rose's body was writhing about, her limbs jerking, and her head raising up off the pillow and thudding back down again. The Doctor yanked a syringe of anti-seizure medication from the sixty-third century medicine cabinet, and jammed the needle into her left arm. The silver fluid flashed into her veins, and in a moment her body grew still.

He stared at the monitor over her head. Her fever was holding steady at thirty-nine point four degrees centigrade, so he had at least kept it from climbing. Growling, the Doctor rushed to the cold storage again, and his fingers closed around a vial of antibiotics. It was designed for the natives of Calimistra, but he was unsure if it would help Rose. Obviously this bacteria had somehow mutated. There was a high probability it would be resistant to the antibiotic.

The Doctor took her swollen hand delicately into his, and began wiping the seeping goo from her skin with a gauze. There, just on the pad of her finger, was a black hole. It would have been invisible to her eyes, but his own over observant vision zeroed right in on it. She probably hadn't even felt it puncture her skin. Another, larger hole was visible next to her nail bed. The smooth edges told him she had probably tried to lance the infection her self. Which, in the process, accelerated the spread of the infection.

He sat her hand gently back down to the cleanest part of her shirt and drew a syringe full of the antidote. Gritting his teeth, he plunged the needle into her arm, above her wrist, and forced the thick, cloudy, liquid into her body. All The Doctor could do now was wait and see if it had any effect.

~~~~

Rose was shocked to find herself laying on a pile of hay. Well, it looked like hay, but it smelled far more wonderful. It still had that musty undertone, but there was also cinnamon and something that reminded her of hugging the Doctor. Yet, still, somewhere in the background, was a cloying smell and the distinct scent of medical equipment. How weird.

She sat up. Rather, she thought that she should sit up, and suddenly she was erect. "Doctor!" She called, taking in her surroundings. She was in a barn, but it was obviously abandoned.

"The Doctor's not here." An oddly familiar voice seemed to vibrate from each plank in the wall. She couldn't quite put her finger on why it was so familiar, but it was also abnormally wild. It reminded her of music, deep and frantic music. The kind of music that ancient pagans used to play as they danced under the full moon. It terrified her and, yet, it made her whole being thrum in anticipation.

"Where am I?" Rose called to the voice.

"Nowhere." The strange woman, for it was definitely a woman, laughed. It was a throaty laugh, almost sarcastic in its tone. "And, yet, you are everywhere." The last word tinkled off into a giggle, vibrating up from the sand beneath Rose's feet. The sand was there. Her eyes told her it was there. However, she could not feel it beneath her feet.

"Who are you?" Rose called out, and she was on her feet as soon as she thought she would like to stand. She wanted to walk, but it seemed as if she simply moved from place to place as soon as she thought about stepping.

The woman didn't respond, but a distant howl rang out from beyond the walls. Rose felt her body jerk. It wouldn't stop jerking. She folded in on herself. The barn faded, and all was dark. Rose felt a searing pain in her arm, and the jerking stopped.

Silver light appeared in the center of her vision, just a small golf ball sized flicker, and it began to roll away from her. Like before, she thought to follow it, and her body complied before she could move. The silver sphere drifted ahead, flew up above Rose's head, and exploded in a shower of rain. The silver downpour cascaded in front of her, exposing a faded scene to her eyes. It was fuzzy and dim, like an old VHS tape, and Rose stepped over the edge into it.

There was her mum. She was buying an ice cream from a man with a cart. Yet, she was younger. How could that be. "Mum!" Rose called out, but Jackie did not seem to hear her. She was too busy looking around.

"Rose!" Jackie called. "Rosie, where'd you go sweetheart?"

"I'm over here mum!" Rose called, but Jackie ignored her.

"Rose! Don't!" The icecream fell from Jackie's grasp as she rushed forward. Rose followed her and saw a blonde girl in pigtails and a pink hat balancing on a rail above a jogging path.

"Watch out!" Rose screamed as the girl bent backwards, her hands reaching for the rain soaked concrete below. The girl lifted her right leg up as her fingers gripped the narrow stone. Jackie was still dashing towards her, but Rose was closer. She'd have to catch the little girl.

Rose knew what would happen before it did. The girl's trainer would slip on the concrete, and she would tumble, head first, to the path below. Rose was almost there. Why wouldn't her body move faster? It was like she was slugging through mud.

An older gentleman with wild, silver hair, dark glasses, and a coat like a magician snatched the little girl by her waist and hauled back onto the bridge. "I think you need to work on your dismount." His Scottish accent was a tad amused.

"Yes Sir." The girl replied, and for the first time Rose saw her face. It was her, as a child, only about nine years old. This couldn't be right. She didn't remember this day.

"Thank you!" Jackie had reached the child Rose now, and was fretting over her. "Thank you Sir!"

"Don't mention it." The gentleman replied. Then he adjusted his shades and wandered off across the park. Rose swore she saw a glint of blue tucked behind a copse of trees. When she tried to look closer, the image shattered and she was back in the darkness.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please for my sake  
> No more talks  
> Of blessings and curses  
> Tonight  
> -Skin and Bones by Beth Crowley

Rose's fever would not break, although the swelling in her hand did go down a bit. The Doctor was both heartened and frustrated at this slight change. Maybe, if he could pinpoint when and how she was exposed, he could figure out what caused the mutation.

He sat, holding her scalding left hand gently in both of his chilly ones, and tried hard to list off when she may have been exposed to any plants. It wasn't in the market four days ago. It could not have been when she popped in to see Jackie day before yesterday. They had spent all day the next swimming and chatting. That left the ball at Yorcaliapis. There had been a variety of floral arrangements scattered around the ballroom, but he had not seen Rose touch any of them. Still, he should check the security footage. He had parked the TARDIS in the ballroom, and her sensors should have captured evey detail of the evening.

"I need a view screen." He murmured to his ship. One shimmied its way out of the coral wall to his right. The Doctor tapped the screen and summoned forth the two hours they were at the ball.

He and Rose had exited the TARDIS, arm in arm. No offense to his ship, but her cameras really did not capture the splendor of Rose Tyler in a little black dress.

He mentally chastised himself for being distracted by that memory and focused back onto the screen.

There they were, standing by the wine table. She was toying his tie with her fingers, and the Doctor remembered her trying to get a dance out of him. He hadn't trusted his control if his hands had access to all that flesh exposed by the back of her dress, so he had turned her down. He remembered telling her he just wanted to observe the festivities, and that she should go dance.

As if on cue, a variety of men and women began vying for her attention, but Lord Billikmarn had extended one smooth teal hand to her. Only now did the Doctor catch how she looked at him, as if wanting him to cut in, but he was preoccupied with the Princess offering him a drink.

"Well." He chastised himself. "Maybe I can be a tad blind sometimes, though I'll never admit that to her out loud." The video continued to play. Lord Billikmarn had Rose pulled close for a slow style dance. He was very gentlemanly in the placement of his hands. However, a passing waiter tripped and spilled a drink across the Lord's chest. Rose had missed being splashed, but she snatched up a napkin from the tray and began to dab at the Lord's chest. The Doctor froze the frame and felt his jaw drop. There, pinned like a boutonnière to his coat, was a Mangelaran Spiral Rose: Native planet, Calimistra. Its stalk? The perfect breeding ground for the purpura mortem.

The Doctor kept watching, wanting to make sure that there was nothing else she may have touched. He saw himself spin the Princess into the frame, right next to where Lord Billikmarn and Rose had begun their dancing again. He watched as Rose froze in Billikmarn's arms, then excuse herself to the wine table. He remembered vividly what had happened after that.

He, himself, had gone over to ask Rose if she was okay, because she looked a bit nauseous. She had just stared at him silently and then tossed her entire glass of wine in his face. He had been so confused as to why and chased after her when she stormed back into the TARDIS. She had rounded on him, calling him Doctor McMixed-Signals. He had stupidly made a comment that she wasn't on her menstrual cycle, so why was she being so irrationally moody. That had earned him a proper smack to his cheek. Looking back, he admitted he deserved that.

Then she asked why he was dancing with the princess. He had stupidly replied "because she asked." That had earned him an exasperated cry with her hands in the air, and Rose asking why the princess got a dance, but not her. He had asked why it mattered to her. He was genuinely confused. She didn't care that jealousy about consumed him every time she peeked that flirtatious tongue of hers out to some pretty boy, but he didn't bring that up. That's when she had accused him of being a blind idiot and stormed to her room.

Looking back at it from an outsider's viewpoint. The Doctor realized just how blind he had been. If he had just agreed to that dance she wanted, if he had just tried to keep his body under control around her, then his precious Rose would not be laying here on this bed. She'd be snuggled contently under her blankets, resting for tomorrow's adventure.

"Oh Rose." The Doctor sighed, taking her burning hands into his again. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." He raised her scorching flesh to his cool lips, and pressed ever so gently. Never in his life had he ever wanted to go back and change his own choices, except perhaps the Dark Day.

His eyes flitted up as the monitor above her bed let out a beep. Her temperature had dropped half a degree. That was a good sign, he hoped. Then, suddenly, the monitor let out a screech. Rose jerked wildly again, and foam began sputtering from her mouth. It was tinged red. The Doctor scanned her vitals. Her body was having an allergic reaction to the antibiotic. Her stomach was literally flooding with blood.

The Doctor snatched up a shot of epinephrine, ripped open the leg of her pajamas, and drove the needle into the thickness of her thigh. He felt the medicine deploy and surge into her muscle. He noticed now, that her legs had taken on the faintest lavender color near her joints. The bacteria was spreading farther.

The Doctor prepped the table, once Rose's vitals evened out, and ran a tube down into her stomach to pump out the blood. The calculations were easy in his frantic mind: she'd lost two and a half pints of blood. The Doctor had never been a praying man, but he sent a plea out to the stars in every corner of the universe for some miracle, as he began to prepare his wilting Rose for a blood transfusion.

~~~~

Memory after memory, for that's what they were, had pulled Rose through the dark abyss she found herself in. There was no particular pattern or design to them. Some seemed to last hours. Others seemed to pass before she could breathe. Some were from her childhood, and others from her trips with the Doctor. It was like someone had made a playlist of her life and set it on random.

Rose did not want to relive all of her memories, particularly not the one in which she found herself now. The rundown flat around her was one she had tried so hard to forget. The beer cans littered the table and floor by the trash bin. A gleaming black guitar sat, in stark contrast to the disarray around it. There she was, her younger self, all of seventeen, cleaning up cigarette butts from the stained carpet.

"Rosie." The slurred voice of Jimmy Stone came from the door on the other side of the sitting room. "Rose! Where'd you put my mobile?"

"Did you check your coat pocket?" Her younger self called, grimacing as she pulled a needle from between the couch cushions and tossed it in the garbage bag in her hand.

The bedroom door slammed open, and Jimmy leaned against the frame. "It's not in my coat pocket. I'm wearing my coat, as any smart person could see." He sneered at her. "That's why I asked you. Now where did you put it?"

"I didn't touch your stupid mobile." Her younger self snapped back. "Try checking somewhere under all this rubbish your mates left behind, yeah?"

Rose knew what was coming, but even when she covered her eyes, she could still see the scene before her.

Jimmy surged forward and grabbed her younger self by her hair and threw her into the wall. "I've told you not to talk to me like that!" His voice was low and cold.

Her younger self staggered upright, picked up the trash bag again, and continued cleaning. "I think I saw it in the kitchen last night. Bryan was looking through it for Mariah's number."

"That's a good girl." Jimmy placed a delicate kiss to her cheek and swaggered into the kitchen. The memory scents that were so strong in her mind made her want to puke. Beer, weed, sweat, cheap cologne, all mixed with her own cheap perfume from back then wafted across her.

Jimmy lifted the various piles of papers, pizza boxes, and beer cans. Still not finding his missing phone. "It's not in here." He rounded on her younger self.

"I don't know." Young Rose said softly. "Maybe he nicked it."

That was a bad move, and Rose knew what was coming. A half empty bottle of liquor soared across the room, nailing her younger self right in the stomach. Young Rose gasped and fell to her knees, clutching her abdomen.

"My friends would not steal from me, you stupid cunt." Jimmy stomped over to her and dragged her up by her hair. "Now I want you to get your mobile and bring it here." He shoved her forcefully across the room. Her younger self scrambled for her purse and pulled her small white phone out. She handed it to him with trembling hands. He took it, slid it into his back pocket, and grabbed her sobbing face.

"Now now Rosie." He cooed. "You shouldn't get me all worked up like this before a gig." He ran a thumb across her cheek. "So, how about you get this place cleaned up, and when I get back, I'll let you make it up to me."

"Of course babe." Younger Rose gave a weak smile. "I can do that."

"There's a love." Jimmy smiled at her and pressed a delicate kiss to her lips. "See ya later."

He let her go, picked up his guitar, and shut the door softly behind him. The memory faded as her younger self collapsed into a sobbing heap on the floor.

The darkness was back, and Rose's stomach ached like nothing she'd felt before. "Please make it stop." She screamed into the emptiness around her.

"It can't stop." The woman's voice was finally back. "It can't stop until you find me, Rose." That wild music whipped around her again, echoed by the howling of a wolf.

"Who are you?" Rose called again. "Where are you?!" She spun around in the Darkness.

"I'm everywhere!" The woman was laughing again, that wild mocking laughter . "And nowhere, all at once! Keep looking." More wolves joined in the howling, and,in the darkness, Rose could see their yellow eyes running into the distance.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Far beneath my skin and bones  
> I harbor my divided soul  
> My greatest source of strength  
> Might be my downfall 
> 
> -Skin and Bones by Beth acrowley

The blood transfusion was working for now. Rose's temperature kept rising and falling a few degrees, but her body had stopped reacting to the antibiotics.

The Doctor was frustrated. He was at his final choice. He'd have to manufacture an antidote himself. He had the equipment in his laboratory, but he couldn't remember where he had asked the TARDIS to put that particular room. He hadn't used it in a few regenerations.

"Please." He begged his ship. "Please, bring it here." He twisted the knob that should have led to the hallway, and when it opened to his musty lab, he literally kissed the coral wall. "Watch her please." He whispered against the cool wall. The TARDIS hummed in response, and he felt the majority of her sentience settle like a soothing wave over the infirmary.

Clutching a handful of samples of the infection as well as a bag of Rose's blood, the Doctor set to work. Every minute passed like a decade, and every failed attempt felt like a stab in his hearts. He focused harder than he had ever done in his life. He couldn't lose her. He had so much to make up for.

That video playback had sparked memory after memory to his mind. Rose snuggled up to him in the library, her shower damp hair cool against his neck as he read to her. He could feel her delicate fingers resting on his thigh. Then there was the time he'd fallen asleep in the library, and she heard him screaming from his dreams of the Time War. She had looked so stunning, her hair a mess, a long stained tshirt over a pair of sleep shorts, and her eyes brimming with concern. She hadn't said a word, just curled up next to him on the couch, and rubbed soothing circles on his chest until the visions faded into dust.

Countless hugs and embraces, and looking back at them, the Doctor could now see the way her whisky hazel eyes had darted between his own eyeso and his lips. The very lips he had had to stretch into wide smiles to keep from pressing them into her soft ones.

"When she wakes up." He murmured into the air. "I'll tell her properly. I'll take her to the gardens of Asgard or the oceans of Hegstanesh, and I'll tell her. I promise!" He yelled that last part, feeling tears begin to leak down his cheek. Then, the equipment before him beeped. He narrowed his eyes at the screen. "Antibiotic 100% effective. Host blood sample, 0% chance of fatal reaction."

"Yes!" The Doctor cheered, and he felt the TARDIS surge into his mind like a wave of fireworks. His fingers flew across the keyboard as he calculated a dosage for her height and weight. Then the machine ejected four full syringes into his hand. "One dosage, IV push, every three hours."

He dashed back into the room. Rose's vitals were steady, but her fever was rapidly climbing back up. The Doctor hooked the syringe into the IV port, and breathed a sigh of relief as he pushed the green fluid into her veins.

It only took an hour of him alternating pacing and stroking her face and her hand for her fever to begin to steadily drop. Once it reached a safer, but still elevated level, he dragged the icepacks out of her bed.

The Doctor looked down at Rose's body. Her clothes were ruined. He frowned down at his own shirt, which had miraculously remained clean. Averting his eyes, so as not to violate her privacy. The Doctor cut her clothes away, tossed them into a biohazard bag, and quickly slid his own shirt over her form. Then he placed a blanket over her bare legs.

"There you go, love." He smiled as he filled a bowl with warm water and began to wash her face and hair. "I knew I couldn't lose you." It was so much easier to talk when she couldn't hear. "I've lost so much, Rose, but the thought of losing you." His voice caught in his throat. "I don't think I could survive that." Her face and hair clean, he began to gently bandage her injured finger. "You save me, every single day. I need you. I live for your smile." He brought her warm and freshly treated hand to his face. "I'm sorry that I caused this, and I know you'll say it wasn't my fault." He paused to stroke a lock of hair back from her face. "But it is. I was too foolishly afraid to let myself get close. I don't know if you feel the same way, but when you open your eyes, I promise to show you everyday, that you are my world."

The TARDIS gently prodded his mind, ending his audienceless confession. She was reminding him that he should rest. It was still two hours before Rose's next dosage. She promised to wake him then.

"I don't want to leave her." The Doctor whispered to his ship. She sent the image of him snuggled up to Rose in the gurney. "I can't do that!" He exclaimed, and reflexive cut and run reaction almost took over.... almost. "No, I can. can't I?" The TARDIS hummed in agreement.

Stifling a yawn, the Doctor crawled into the bed beside Rose and forced himself to rest.

~~~

Rose hadn't realized just how hot the darkness and memories were, until she felt the temperature around her begin to drop. For a bit, a soft rain had caressed her hair and face. Disappearing as suddenly as it had appeared. A new memory surged forth, the TARDIS library beckoned to her with a shimmer. She stepped into the memory, and found herself engulfed in the smell of the Doctor. His essence surrounded her, and the minty, booky, greasy, hair gelly smell of him made her want to burst with relief. Rose dashed around a bookshelf and found him reclining on the couch, book in his lap, and his glasses askew as he slept.

"Doctor!" Rose called, reaching for his knee, but her hand passed right through. Just another memory to torment her. But why this one? Oh, yes....

Rose recalled this memory when the Doctor began to twitch. Sweat began to bead along his ever dry forehead, and he began to mumble under his breath. Not once did he shout or scream, but in the back of her mind, Rose remembered hearing her screams clear across the ship in her bedroom.

There she was, skidding into the library looking a right, bed ruffled mess. She dashed to the couch and settled next to the Doctor, gently stroking his forehead until his eyes fluttered open.

"Where am I?" He had asked, so so softly she hadn't heard that then. "Oh, hello Rose. Did You need something? Everything alright?"

"Can't sleep?" Her own question seemed like an explanation for her presence, but in reality it was a query to him. He had groggily lain back down, his eyelids drooping as she snuggled against him on the sofa. Then she began stroking soft circles across his chest, the same way her mother had done to her as a child.

The memory was fading as her past self sank into sleep, but Rose was able to make out the Doctor lifting his head to gaze down at her dozing form and press a featherlight kiss to the top of her hair. "I'll be able to sleep now, my sweet Rose." His voice was muted as Rose plunged into Darkness again.

The scent of his presence was still enveloping, and rapidly more and more memories came. All of these were moments with the Doctor. First his grumpy leather self gazing at her over a table in downing street. "I could save the world, but lose you." How had she missed that swirling of pain in his voice?

Next came the bunker in Utah; a raging Dalek accusing him of loving her. She knew that storm in his eyes, she had seen it on many occasions, but how had she missed the way his gaze had flicked so briefly to the camera, as if staring at her. The storm gave way to an ocean of hurt and begging for forgiveness.

More and more memories came, so fast that Rose couldn't keep track. They whisked around her like a cyclone, and then she spun to an abrupt halt back in the barn she had first found herself in.

An elderly man sat talking to a golden box. How strange. She couldn't make out his words, as they were in that same lyrical language the Doctor sometimes used. "This isn't right." Rose shook her head. "This isn't my memory. "

"Oh, don't be daft." The woman's voice was back. "Only your memories exist here. This one, though, does not belong to Rose Tyler." The voice didn't echo from around her this time. The woman was whispering next to her ear.

Rose spun around. "Show yourself!" She turned again. "Stop playing with me!"

"Keep looking for me, Rose." the woman taunted. "You're almost there!" The howling had begun again, as the woman laughed. "He locked me away. You have to let me out."

"Who locked you away?" Rose shouted, as the image of the muttering man faded.

"The Doctor of course." The woman whispered. Her voice faded into the dark like drum beats on the wind.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love was not a choice for me  
> I held you hand a took a leap  
> When I lose myself  
> You help me  
> Stand so tall  
> -Skin and Bones by Beth Crowley

The TARDIS woke the Doctor with a gentle nudge at his mind. He sat up, gazing down at his sleeping companion. Some color was returning to her face, and her breathing was far less labored. His lifted the corner of the blanket to check her legs. The lavender tinge, that had been blossoming near her knees and ankles, was gone. Her right arm had regained it's normal size, but the skin was still a shiny red, and her hand was still swollen.

The Doctor slid from the gurney and picked up her next dosage. Once he had injected it, he rubbed his eyes and began scanning over her readings. Her temperature had returned to normal, and the infection was slowly fizzling out inside of her. He checked her brain scans, and saw the tell-tale signs of dreaming. Although, a small millimeter of an area in her frontal lobe was showing gray. The febrile seizure had caused just a tiny bit of damage. Just a pinprick size area of dead brain cells. It wouldn't have any effect on her. She'd never even notice it. Most human doctors wouldn't have even detected it.

The Doctor's belly let out a gurgle. It had been nearly eighteen hours since he'd last had anything to eat or drink. "Let me know if she wakes up." He murmured to his ship and he shuffled his way to the galley.

The Doctor poured himself some tea and slathered some butter an jam on a bit of toast. He ate in silence. Relief settled into every fiber of his being. Once he was finished, he headed back to his room to dig up a clean shirt and grab the book he had been reading the night before. Finding both, he headed back to the infirmary. The TARDIS had moved his favorite reading chair from the library into the room. He settled into its fluffy leather and opened the book. In a soft voice, he began to read aloud.

He hoped his voice would stir his companion to consciousness. He wasn't sure if her body had the energy needed to wake up just yet. So the Doctor read, and he waited. At one point, he unhooked the saline drip to give her a line of D5w. Her blood sugar levels had begun to drop, but they slowly returned to normal.

Then he settled back into his chair to read some more. He had made it halfway through the book when his time sense alerted him that it was time for Rose's final dose. He injected the medication and stroked her face gently. She looked so peaceful. Her eyes fluttered behind her closed eyelids, and every so often her lips twitched into a smile. The dream must be good. He hoped so. The Doctor placed a light kiss to her forehead and held her hand gently in his. "Rose, love, you have to wake up."

Rose didn't move. She lay just as still as before. She didn't even twitch a finger.

"Rose, sweetheart, please wakeup." The Doctor murmured against her skin. "Let me see your eyes."

Still nothing. Her vital signs said she was fine. Her bio scans said her body was mending at rapid rates. She should be ready to wake up. So why wasn't she?

"Rose!" His calls were a bit louder now, and he gently shook her shoulders. "Come now love, you need to wake up." Nothing changed.

"What is wrong?!" The Doctor growled in frustration and turned to the monitor. Inch by inch he scanned her body. He focused on every nerve ending, every still muscle, all the way up to her brain. Nothing was showing except the ever reducing infection.

The TARDIS wheezed softly, and a different scanner descended from the ceiling. It was the scanner he used on himself. It was only programed Gallifreyan biology, Time Lord and non-Time Lord alike.

"It won't recognize her bio signature." He explained to his ship. "Why did you send it down?"

Every screen in the room flooded with an image of Rose's brain scan. It looked like a human brain, that pin prick of dead gray cells ever present. The screens zoomed in on the cells, circling them over and over in mauve rings.

"What are you trying to tell me?" The Doctor was confused. "It's just a bit if cell death. It won't even effect her. I checked!"

The Gallifreyan scanner raced across the roof and sent a golden light across Rose's skull. Then the image blazed to life on the screen. It matched the normal scans of her brain, except now that gray area was a translucent yellow. The TARDIS zoomed in on the spot, and as it magnified, the Doctor saw it looked like an eye, a wolf's eye.

"Oh no!" He screened, rushing back to his companions side. "Don't you dare! She'll burn!" He shouted at his ship. "You'll kill her!"

The TARDIS buzzed the lights angrily. She wasn't the one doing this. She could just see it, see what he couldn't.

"She can't remember." The Doctor gasped at the ceiling. "I buried that so deep. She shouldn't be able to find it!"

A loud beeping noise brought his rant to a screeching halt. Rose's heart rate was going insane. It flatlined for a moment, sped into a racing sprint, and then flatlined again. The Doctor grabbed a set of defibrillator paddles and was about to shock her, when her heart rate returned in a slow weak rhythm. It was dangerously slow, almost too slow maintain her system.

The Doctor scanned her again. Her serotonin levels were wildly out of control. Her body was too relaxed, too weak, and the ever increasing depression of her system was affecting her heart. He had to wake her up.

The Doctor yanked at his hair, warring with himself. He had sworn to never enter her mind without permission again, but this was life or death. He climbed back onto the gurney with her and placed his slender fingers to her temples. "Forgive me Rose." He murmured and plunged himself into her mind.

He found the derelict pathway of his last journey into her core from nearly a year ago. He eased his way down it, studiously ignoring the flashes of memories floating around him. She wasn't in any of them, but she had so recently been. She was wandering deeper into her own self. The path was one he remembered all to well. Yet, her mind wasn't resisting him like the last time. It enveloped him in a warm welcome, affection echoing from every fiber of her being. A gentle unfurling of joy trickled back into his own mind. It was so different from the blazing inferno he had encountered on his last journey.

He pressed further into her, seeking her distant thoughts, and he trembled as he saw where it was leading him. He heard the soft cry of a wolf reverberate through him. Oh no.

~~~~

Rose's chest felt funny. She couldn't describe it accurately, but it was like someone had poured gelatin powder into her blood, and it thickened in her chest. It made it hard to breath.

It had been a while since she had seen any memories, but for a moment she had heard to soft echo of the Doctor's reading voice far behind her.

The wolves' howls were more regular now. She could see their golden eyes dashing in the darkness. On and on they led her down a sightless path. A swirling golden light flickered ahead. It had fizzled to life like a candle in a storm. Her hands outstretched before her made contact with the first palpable thing she had felt since waking here. Dark chains blocked her way to the candle. She could feel them, but she couldn't see them.

With a groan, she heaved on the chains. She had to find that candle. She knew, without a doubt that her life depended on it.

A cool hand wrapped around her wrist. "Let go of that Rose." The Doctor's voice reverberated through her entire body.

"Doctor!" She gasped, her fingers tightening on the invisible chains. "Where are you?"

"I'm here Rose." She felt his other arm wrap around her waist, trying to pull her from the chain. "Let go of that." His lips were beside her ear.

"I can't see you." She gasped as she reached her left hand back behind her. Her fingers closed around a soft shirt.

"Turn around then." The Doctor's voice was so different. It held that same wild music as the woman. "Just turn around and let me take you home." His lips pressed into the back of her hair. "Please."

"I can't." Rose whispered. "I have to find the woman. That candle will show me where."

"What woman?" The Doctor's voice was curious.

"The one with the wolves." Rose explained, and she remembered what the woman had said. "The one you locked away."

"She'll kill you Rose." His voice was frantic. "You have to leave her locked away." His fingers tightened around her waist and her wrist. "That's no candle. It's her. Just let the chains go Rose."

She wanted to believe him, but something about the panic in his voice steeled her resolve.

"She said that I can only go back once I found her." Rose jerked from his grasp. The chains blazed golden in her grasp and disappeared into a sparkle of dust.

"No!" The Doctor's shout echoed as they tumbled forward. The candle floating ahead blazed bright, and a golden memory cascaded around them.

The Doctor pulled her close as they fell forward onto the floor of the Game Station. "What have you done?" His accent mirrored the northern burr across the room.

Rose stood shakily as she saw herself floating forward to the cowering man on the floor. "I looked into the TARDIS, and the TARDIS looked into me!"

Her current Doctor yanked on her hand. "End the memory Rose! End it now!"

"I can't!" She gasped, watching as her golden eyed self scattered the letters.

"You've got the entire vortex running through your head!" The leather jacketed Doctor was shouting at her former self.

"You're gonna burn!" The Doctor behind her sobbed and pulled harder on her hand. "Please don't watch Rose. Please! Follow me home."

Her former self was crying now too. Her face contorted in pain. She was dying.

"Come here." The old Doctor extended his arms, his voice so gentle and loving. "I think you need a Doctor."

She watched as he pressed his lips into hers, and she felt the man behind her heave a sigh. "I never wanted you to see this." He murmured into her ear. His arms wound around her waist again.

The leather Doctor glowed golden now, as her former self was lowered to the floor. The light seeped back into the TARDIS and the doors clicked shut.

"Why?" Rose asked, standing frozen at the sight. She watched the younger Doctor brush her forehead for a moment, his face bathed in sadness. Then he scooped her up and carried her inside. "Oh my God." Realization hit her as the memory faded. This time they were bathed in that golden light instead of the darkness. "I killed you."

"No, Rose." The Doctor's smile was soft as she turned to him. "You saved me, but the power. You couldn't handle it. You were still dying. I had to lock it so far away."

His fingers brushed under her chin, and he kissed her forehead. "Now come home to me."

"Not yet, Doctor!" The woman's voice was back. "She isn't ready." The howling and music were louder this time. The light blazed blindingly bright and the barn leapt into existence around them.

"Not this place again." Rose groaned at the same time the Doctor gasped.

"Impossible!" 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standing in silence  
> We look out at the water  
> Amazed how much the world has changed  
> I see behind your eyes  
> Such wisdom and sorrow  
> You wondering if we're still the same  
> -Skin and Bones by Beth Crowley

Rose groaned as she threw her hands up at the straw thatched ceiling. "Why do I keep ending up back here?!"

"This is impossible." Her Doctor was pulling her in close again. His eyes were thick with panic and his very messy hair was trembling. "We shouldn't be here, Rose." His eyes darted down to hers. They were swirling with a strange golden light, like the time he regenerated. "You shouldn't know this place."

"That's what I told the woman!" Rose explained. "How come your voice sounds like hers?"

"What do you mean?" The Doctor raised one eyebrow.

"All wild and musical." Rose tilted her head as the Doctor said her name in an experimental manner. It echoed around them, like a flute and a drum and a thunderstorm all at once.

"Well that's odd." The Doctor's lips twitched a bit. "Must be how your mind interprets my thoughts."

"What do you mean, your thoughts?" Wind shook the walls of the barn as Rose untangled himself from his arms.

"We're inside your mind Rose." His face was apologetic. "You're dying." His voice cracked at that word. "I came into your mind in a final effort to wake you up. I'm sorry."

"I gathered that part." Rose huffed, crossing her arms. "The memories sort of gave it away, yeah? But how come this barn keeps coming up. I've never been here before."

"No." The Doctor gulped. "But I have." Rose noticed how how his hands were shaking and she clasped one in her own. The shaking stopped. "All that's missing is a big, golden."

"Box!" Rose exclaimed. "I saw a man talking to a golden box earlier!"

The Doctor's eyes, which had been searching the room, locked onto hers again. "No. That's not possible! That was before I met you! Years before!" His hand tightened painfully around hers.

"Ouch!" Rose exclaimed yanking her hand free.

"Ding ding ding! Give the Time Lord a prize!" The woman's voice had returned. "Tell me, Doctor, are you afraid of the Big!" The voice shook the ceiling above them. "Bad!" The ground trembled with a clap of thunder. "Wolf?" The final word was soft, and that golden box returned.

On top of the box was a mirror. Wait, no, that wasn't Rose's reflection, but it was her body. The clothes were ragged, torn, like a wild woman from a fairy tale. Her hair was adorned with beads and feathers, and her eyes glowed golden, glittering dust sparkling out of them. They matched the eyes Rose had seen on her younger self in the Game Station.

"Rose, stay away from her!" The Doctor snatched her hand again, yanking Rose behind him.

"Who are you?" Rose asked, peering around the Doctor's arm.

"Why, I'm you of course!" The woman smiled a feral sneer. "But, also not you!" She disappeared and reappeared behind Rose, her warm, delicate fingers on Rose's back. "I'm the you he is so afraid of."

They both spun, Rose and the Doctor, but she had vanished again.

"Over here!" They turned again, and she was sitting on a pile of tarp covered crates. "Hello!" The woman waved her fingers tauntingly.

"Leave us alone!" Rose cried, moving to stand by protectively in front of her Doctor.

"I can't do that." The woman smiled again. "If I leave, you die."

"Liar!" Rose screamed. Everything her chest was hurting again, burning and aching. The vision was growing fuzzy. The Doctor grabbed her hand, and everything grew clear again.

"I'm afraid" he gulped. "I'm afraid she's not."

"Smart man." The Woman hopped off the crates and sauntered over to them. She paused, her face inches from Rose's. It felt like Rose was gazing in a distorted funhouse mirror. "How long do you think her heart can hold out? Tell me, how much time does she have, oh Lord of Time."

"I don't know." The Doctor gasped. He could see it, Rose's timeline growing shorter and shorter. So many possibilities flickering out of existence before him.

"I can save you, Rose." The woman was whispering now. Her scalding lips brushed against Rose's in a mock kiss. "Just let me out." With a hand she gestured back at the box. A shining red ruby had blossomed up from it's top. "Push the button."

"Doctor?" Rose turned to him. His eyes were darting between her and the button. "Doctor! Say something!"

"Push it." He choked out, tears streaming down his face. Then he grabbed her by the shoulders and thrust her forward. Rose stumbled across the room. Her hands scrambled for purchase on anything. They closed on the glowing gem, and she pushed it down with all her strength.

The vision exploded. A wild howl echoed around her. She was burning. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think! She couldn't see! All she heard was the Doctor screaming her name.

~~~~~

The Doctor screamed Rose's name as he was forced back into his own mind. He stumbled off the gurney, smashing into the floor with a gasp. The cloister bell blasted from the depths of the TARDIS, and his ship's normally yellow lights glowed a desperate mauve. The monitors were going haywire. Rose's heart rate was flashing across the monitors in a rhythm that should have killed her. The bag of fluid trailing into her arm burst, and the needle in her vein shot out. It stuck into the wall across the room and shook twice.

The Doctor scrambled to his feet as the TARDIS shook. His ship was cowering far in the recesses of her core. "Rose!" The Doctor screamed reaching out for her hand. Her body had begun to tremble, and her eyes shot open. Golden light shot out of their depths, cascading over her body in a wave of glitter. It blocked him from touching her, and the shimmering cocoon lifted her up off the bed.

The light blazed so bright, and the Doctor had to cover his eyes with a strangled cry. He stumbled back to a counter, sagging against the cool metal.

"Please work." He pleaded, his eyes locked on her form. Then, he saw Rose's timelines blaze back to life before him. One turn, one he had been ignoring for so long shimmered into his mind. Rose stood sobbing on a beach, separated from him. It shimmered and shook, now Rose stood beside him and her mother was the one standing alone on the beach.

"Yes!" He cried. Jumping to his feet. "Yes!"

The light from the bed dimmed, and Rose's body drifted back down to the sheets softly. The Doctor rushed to her. "Rose! Rose!" He clambered onto the gurney pulling her body to his chest. "Say something."

"Where am I?" Her voice held a fainting echo as she spoke, but then returned to normal.

"The infirmary." He laughed, peppering the top of her head with kisses.

"Doctor..." Rose gasped against his shirt.

"Yes?" He laughed, squeezing her tighter.

"I can't breathe." She wriggled in his arms. "I thought you were trying to save me, not hug me to death."

"Whoopsie!" The Doctor blushed sheepishly, loosening his arms. He grinned down at her like a besotted fool. Oh, who was he kidding, he was a besotted fool.

"Hullo." Rose smiled warmly up at him, as she snaked her arms up to rest on his, adjusting her seat on the mattress.

"Hello." The Doctor replied. He was almost certain his face was permanently frozen in this smile. "How much do you remember?"

"Most of it." Her brow furrowed. "It's there, but, my mind." She crinkled her nose. "It feels weird."

Oh how he wanted to kiss that nose. "Weird how?" He asked, his hands moving to stroke her back. How wonderful she felt in his arms.

"I don't know." Her forehead fell to his chest. "Really, kinda, big."

"How do you mean?" The Doctor's lips found the top of her hair, and he contemplated keeping them glued to that spot.

"Like, there's empty space there that wasn't before." Her fingers tightened on his sleeve. "Oh! That's beautiful?"

"What?" The Doctor pulled back as the TARDIS creeped her humming back into the room.

"That singing." Rose wriggled out of his grasp. "I know that singing." He let out a laughter. "Hello to you too beautiful." The TARDIS pealed laughter into the room. "I didn't know you could talk like that."

"You can hear her?" The Doctor gasped.

"The TARDIS?" Rose asked. "Yeah. She said she was happy I'm better."

"Rose." The Doctor said, purposefully speaking in Gallifreyan.

"Yes Doctor?" Rose focused her eyes back on him.

"Can you understand me?" He questioned, clasping her cheeks in his palms.

"Um, yeah, but why are you singing?" She touched her tongue to the corner of her lips in a smile. She was definitely speaking English. "Blimey, are you sure you're not sick now?"

"Rose, darling, I'm speaking Gallifreyan." His hearts had begun to do an acrobatic routine that would be Cirque de Soleil to shame.

"What?" Rose paused for a second. She seemed lost in thought. "I can hear the words your singing, but they turn to English in my head."

The Doctor pulled her close again. "Oh Rose." He breathed softly into her hair, reverting back to English. "Would you like some tea. We have a lot to talk about."

Rose hummed contentedly against his chest. "That sounds lovely."

The Doctor reluctantly untangled himself from her arms and slid to his feet. He offered her a hand, and helped her to her own feet. She looked so deliciously tempting in nothing but his shirt.

"Two things first Doctor." Rose piped up as he pulled her towards the galley.

"Yes?" The Doctor grinned over his shoulder at her.

"First, why am I wearing your night shirt." She gestured down at the white cotton garment. "Second, why did you kiss me on the Gamestation?"

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt more love  
> Than I could give  
> In just one life time  
> Far beneath my skin and bones  
> I shelter our united souls  
> My greatest source of strength  
> Was not my  
> Downfall  
> -Skin and Bones by Beth Crowley

The Doctor sheepishly ran his hands through his hair. Goodness he looked adorable all blushing like that. Rose waited patiently for him to explain, but she could hear the TARDIS calling him a blubbering schoolboy in her mind.

"Well." The Doctor cleared his throat. "The shirt thing. Your pajamas were dirty, and I didn't want to leave you alone just then. So, I cut them off of you and gave you my shirt."

Rose wasn't complaining a bit. The baggy shirt smelled so much like him, and it made her tingle straight to her toes feeling it against her skin. "Well that seems a sensible thing to do." She mused, pulling at the hem of the shirt.

"Well, as for the kiss." The Doctor stuttered adorably over the word. "I, er, I had to take the vortex out of you." Yeah, his face was an attractive shade of scarlet.

"Which requires kissing?" Rose had crossed her arms in front of her chest, and was watching him from her hair, which she had let fall into her face to hide her own blush.

"Well skin to skin contact." He stuttered again. "It helps to create a conduit for active absorption."

"So it didn't have to be a kiss then?" She knew she was just torturing him now. Could he possibly turn any more red?

"Well, I, you see." The Doctor looked up from his flailing hands. "Are you terribly upset with me?"

"Yes." Rose admitted, but before she could continue, she winced at the pain that flashed across his face.

"I'm sorry." He gasped turning his back to her. "I didn't mean to upset you.

"Doctor!" Rose pulled his arm back around. "I'm not upset at the kiss." She explained placing a soft hand to his cheek. "I'm upset that you hid it from me."

"Oh." The hope that sparkled into his eyes was breathtaking. "I had to protect you." His voice was soft as his hands moved gently to her waist. "I didn't think you'd want to remember a kiss like that."

"Why wouldn't I want to remember a kiss from you?" Rose rested her hands against his chest, one over each heart. "Remembering it would sure beat fantasizing about it."

"You fantasize about kissing me?" He was singing again. Wait, no, speaking. Blimey that language sounded so beautiful rolling off his tongue.

"Every day." Rose admitted. The confession felt so good coming out, but she was terrified that he would run. He always ran when she got too close.

"But you remember it now?" The Doctor's question was more a statement of fact. Were his lips quivering?

"Yes, but it's still a bit foggy." Rose was blatantly lying, her tongue peeking out of the corner of her mouth. "Maybe you could refresh my memory?" There, permission, an open invitation hanging in the ever shrinking space between them.

"I can do that." His voice was softer than Rose had ever heard. "If you'd like." His hands inched cautiously to the small of her back, easing her against him. She had never felt his hearts pounding so quickly.

"I'd very much like that." Rose whispered, her eyes fluttering shut as his nosed brushed against her. Then, like a fluttering of butterfly wings, cool damp lips pressed gently against hers. It was a delicate brush, and if she hadn't been focusing so hard on it, she doubted she would have felt it.

"Rose?" The Doctor's breath ghosted across her lips.

"Hmm?" Rose responded, her fingers flexing against his chest.

"Never scare me like that again."

Before she could reply, his lips surged against hers. Rose was positive that someone had lit fireworks in her stomach. She moved her lips against his, and it was heaven. She tried hard to match his pace, but he was frantic. One hand slid up to her hair and the other pressed hard against her lower back.

Rose sighed into his mouth, and he took advantage of that tiny breath to dart his tongue between her lips to caress her own. He tasted delightful, like a rich wine mixed with warm chocolate and star dust. Her head spun as she broke away to catch her breath. Her knees were shaking, and her heart skipped several beats.

"Easy." The Doctor hummed as he steadied her in his arms. "Don't pass out on me again." His lips brushed her nose with an amused chuckle

"Again?" Rose queried gazing up into his eyes.

"I thought you said you remembered." He pulled his head back a bit, bringing the hand from her hair to stroke her cheek with a thumb.

"I don't remember what happened before I woke up in that barn." Rose admitted. She tried to focus on those particular memories, but that spot in her suddenly expanded mind was blank.

"Come to the galley and let me feed you before I explain." The Doctor gave her a gentle sigh and kissed her longingly on the lips once more.

Rose followed him willingly, her hand in his felt so comforting.

The Doctor forced her to sit and made her a cup of tea then went to work preparing her a quick meal of oatmeal and bacon. She watched him work, wanting to press the matter, but every so often he would pause to lean down and kiss her softly, so she waited.

Rose loved watching him move, and she discovered that he seemed different. His smile was different. It was like he had finally let go of something he had been holding onto, like a burden had been lifted from his shoulders.

He placed the warm bowl in front of her, and as she greedily devoured it he told her of the day's events. He told her of their quarrel, and Rose snorted. "Did I really call you Doctor McMixed-Signals?"

"Yes!" The Doctor huffed. "You did! That was very rude, by the way." He fiddled with his spoon. "But I deserved it." Then, when he described finding her on the floor, Rose could see the pain in his eyes again. "I thought you would die Rose."

A heavy silence fell between them as he had to stop every so often to gather himself. He described the fear and panic of being forced from her mind and watching her burn before him. The future that changed punched her in the gut. Had her future really been intended to be separated from him?

"Doctor?" Rose's voice was hesitant in the deafening silence. "What did Bad Wolf do to me?"

The Doctor reached across the table to grasp her hand. "I don't know. She destroyed all my scanners." He squeezed her fingers gently. "But I think, think mind you, that she finished what she started that day in the Gamestation."

"What is that then?" Rose squeezed his hand back.

"I think she made you immortal."

"Immortal?" Rose dropped his hand and slouched back into her chair. "Am I like you now? A Time Lord?"

"No." The Doctor flexed his empty hand on the table. "Not quite, more like human plus." He brought that hand up to rub his face. "You don't taste totally human anymore, and the presence of your mind feels more vast. I don't think you'll age though, but I doubt you'll regenerate."

Well wasn't this just wizard?

 _Yes, yes it is_. That wild voice trickled back into her mind. Well, echoed from inside the center of her mind, in a smug tone. _You wanted his forever didn't you?_

Oh, right....

"Rose." He was standing over her now, a hand hovering slightly by her cheek. "Rose, love, are you okay?"

Her head jerked up to gaze at him in shock. "What'd you say?"

"Are you okay?" His right eyebrow arched, and he pressed his palm to her forehead, as if checking her for a fever.

"Before that?" She took his hand and pulled it away from her head.

"Rose?" The Doctor's eyes danced in amusement.

"No before that." She huffed.

"Rose." Now he was downright snickering.

"No." It was Rose's turn to raise an eyebrow.

"Love?" He grinned widely and knelt down beside her.

Rose nodded. "Mmm that's the word."

"Oh." The Doctor lowered his head to hers. "Well, that's what I always call you." He had that bashful look again.

"I've never heard you." Rose replied, lacing her arms around his neck.

"I never said you were awake when I called you that." The Doctor pressed his lips to hers again, and Rose readily accepted it.

Whatever Bad Wolf had done to her, whatever was coming in the days ahead, it didn't matter. Because she was Rose Tyler, he was the Doctor, and they were safe in the TARDIS. The universe would just have to wait.

 

 

 


End file.
